Magic and Mayhem: Witchin' A Ride (Kindle Worlds Novella) Page 9

  “Your ass doesn’t look very professorial in those,” Garrett whispered.

  “Is that a problem?”

  “Since I can’t do a damn thing about it at the moment, yeah. But, I’m sure I can figure out something…later.” His arms slipped around my waist and I leaned back against him. It was the only way to remain standing given the way his voice made my bones disappear and my recently resuscitated girly bits clamor for attention.

  “Hiya, Dollface.” Fat Bastard waddled from the kitchen, followed closely by Boba Fett and Jango Fett, the former balancing half a coffee cake on his head. “If we knew youse was coming, Fabio woulda baked a cake.”

  “We did know they were coming, and I did bake a cake. In fact, I baked seventeen cakes,” Fabio glared.

  “Seventeen ya say?” Fat Bastard scratched an ear. “Well, uh, Zelda stopped by earlier, ya know.”

  “I anticipated that,” Fabio ground out. “Hence the reason I made seventeen.”

  “Healing always makes her hungry,” Mac pointed out.

  “Blinking makes her hungry,” Fabio shot back without shifting his attention from the cats. “How many are left?”

  “Uh, well we polished off the three in the silverware drawer,” Fat Bastard mumbled and looked at the ceiling. “And the one in the china closet.”

  “Wait the hell a minute,” Jango growled. “You said there was only two in the silverware drawer.”

  “Did I? Well, math ain’t my best subject. As I was sayin’, Zelda scarfed down at least five.”

  “How. Many. Are. Left?”

  Jango snatched the cake from Boba’s head, broke it, handed half to Boba, and they both quickly shoved it in their mouths.

  “Countin’ that one?” Fat Bastard blinked up at Fabio. “Uh, none.”

  “Sweet Goddess in an outfit from the consignment shop,” Fabio roared. “I suppose it’s pointless to ask if the four in the dishwasher escaped your attention.”

  The cats froze. Their eyes widened, their whiskers twitched, and their wide butts jiggled and swirled in the air. Then they did a one-eighty and scrambled back to the kitchen, pushing and shoving, clawing, and tumbling over one another to be the first to reach the dishwasher. A faint smile played along the corners of the warlock’s lips. A smile reeking with anticipation.

  “There’s no cake in the dishwasher, is there?” Mac asked with a chuckle.

  “Wait for it.” Fabio held up a finger and closed his eyes. A high pitched whistle was followed by a series of cracks, a couple of loud pops, and a number of muffled explosions. His grin stretched wider. A string of obscenities peeled the paint from the walls as multicolored sparks shot into the hallway. A cloud of acrid smoke drifted behind.

  “Fireworks?” Mac guessed, crossing his arms over his massive chest and propping a shoulder against the wall. “That’s the best you could come up with?”

  “Well, I had to do something. Every time I try to zap their fat, furry asses, it ricochets back on me,” Fabio grumbled. He waved a hand and the air cleared of smoke and sulfur. The cats emerged from the melee, noses in the air, tails fully erect. The tip of Jango’s flickered like a candle. Fat Bastard balanced a singed coffee cake on his head. They waddled up to Fabio and he plucked the confection from the cat’s noggin to expose a smoking bald spot.

  “Touché, Fabdudio. Who put sandpaper on your effing toilet paper roll this morning?” He jerked his head toward the door. Boba and Jango fell in line.

  “See ya at home,” Boba informed Mac as they limped past.

  “Right behind you,” Mac said, raising a hand and following them out. “Garrett, Ella, nice to meet you. Stop back and see us anytime. Zelda would love to meet you.”

  “Speaking of which, we probably should be going, too. Thank Goddess it’s Spring Break. I’ll have time to get my lesson plans in order.” I said, and then turned in Garrett’s arms. “You’ll love Hemlock Hollow. It’s…what’s wrong?”

  “Ella, I can’t stay in Hemlock Hollow.” His big hands cupped my face, his eyes shadowed. “My people need me. Goddess only knows what’s happened since I left. I have a responsibility. I can’t just walk away from them.”

  “But, you can walk away from me?” I whispered. It was the best I could do over the tennis ball lodged in my throat. Goddess, I thought he was different. “Is that what you mean?”

  “What I mean is I can’t live in Hemlock Hollow.” He buried his fingers in my hair and tilted my face to his. “That doesn’t equate to walking away. It means we have to be creative and think outside the box.”

  “I like the box, Garrett. It’s my box. I’m not sure I know how to be outside of it. I understand your people need you, I truly do. But, I have responsibilities, too. My students depend on me.”

  “I know they do, Buttercup.” He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and his fingers grazed my cheek as soft as raindrops. “We’ll figure it out.”

  “About that…” Baba Yaga stepped forward and pressed a finger to her lips. “Technically, Ella, you no longer have students. Your position has been filled. You’ve been away quite a while, and the show must go on.”

  “What do you mean my position’s been filled?” Flames licked at my fingertips and I tore free of Garrett to avoid zapping him by mistake. I narrowed my eyes and spun to face the head witch. “I’ve published, I’ve lectured, and I’ve won awards. I’ve held that position for over fifty years. I put those bitches on the map. They can’t just replace me! The Adjunct Professor in the Department of Healing Herbs and Medicinal Plants is who I am.”

  “My darling girl.” The Yaga pulled me into her arms and stroked my hair. Then she gripped my shoulders and held me at arm’s length. Her eyes bored into mine. “Adjunct Professor in the Department of Healing Herbs and Medicinal Plants isn’t who you are, it’s what you do…uh, did. My bad. You allowed it to become your whole identity and then hid behind it. You’ve just spent an entire year living completely outside the box. And you succeeded beautifully. It’s time to make a change. We both know you’ve always preferred research. This gives you the time to devote to it you’ve always wanted, isn’t that so?”

  “Maybe,” I mumbled, staring at the toes of my blinged-out pink flats.

  “Of course, it does.” She clapped her hands together. “Which is why I took the liberty of scouting out a fabulous location for your new research facility. It’s nestled in a beautiful little valley surrounded by hills and interspersed with fresh water streams. The town itself isn’t much to look at, but behind the scenes? Organic fields hum with life, bees swarm the marigolds, sparrow and wren Shifters make themselves at home, and kids run free in the fields. Blah, blah, blah.”

  “Oh, really,” I drawled. I lifted my gaze to hers and cocked a brow. Then I glanced at Garrett and his lazy smile made my heart leap in my chest.

  “Doesn’t it sound delightful? However, I did hear the locals have had some difficulties with their crops recently. How fortunate, in the interest of facilitating your transition, I had all your lab equipment and research materials moved. You’re all set up and ready to rumble. Perhaps you can help these poor struggling farmers. The problem does appear to be right up your alley.”

  “Right up my alley,” I repeated, sinking my teeth into my bottom lip. “It couldn’t have worked out any better if someone deliberately planned it.”

  “Right?” She nodded, her surfer dude swoop bouncing like a diving board with a wonky spring. “I think this entire unfortunate episode has really been a blessing in disguise.”

  “Is that what they call it these days?”

  “Call what, dear?”

  “Complete and utter manipulation.”

  “I think I should be offended on so many levels.” Her brows slammed together.

  “Um, Ella?” Garrett stepped up and slung an arm around my shoulders. “Maybe we should just think of everything falling so conveniently into place as fate.”

  “The Fates, you mean.” I raised a brow at the Yaga. “I guess you expect me to t
hank you?”

  “You probably should,” she agreed.

  “Probably.” I gave Garrett the side-eye, and something in my expression must have given me away. He gulped audibly. “And I could. But, a simple thank you seems so conventional and inadequate. It occurs to me one good turn deserves another.”

  “Oh?” She raised an expectant brow. Garrett muttered ‘oh’, as well. But, I’m pretty sure he followed it up with ‘shit’. And a groan.

  “Baba Yaga!” I held out my arms and yanked her into an embrace. An errant strand of gremlin ear nearly poked my eye out. I blinked bravely and soldiered on, my determination unwavering. I pressed my lips close to her ear, took a deep breath, and whispered, “Witch, you gottalose that hair. Trust me on this.”

  I stepped back, wiggled my fingers, and the Yaga’s blonde locks fell in thick, luxurious waves that tumbled over her shoulders, and trailed halfway down her back. Her eyes narrowed. Her face flushed. Green flames erupted from her fingertips. This led me to believe she may not have taken my helpful advice in the spirit in which it was intended. For a split second, I thought she might actually zap me bald right there in the entry hall. Fortunately, Fabio’s quick thinking—and libido—saved me.

  “Yesssssss,” he growled. He smacked her butt, grabbed her hand, and they both poofed.

  “Well, that was rude,” I giggled.

  Garrett barked out a laugh, and yanked me against his six feet of lovely man muscle.

  “What am I going to do with you?”

  “Are you open to suggestions?” I glanced up at him through my lashes. “I have more than a few.”

  “Let’s go home and you can tell me all about them, Louella Ladyfern, former Adjunct Professor in the Department of Healing Herbs and Medicinal Plants.”

  “I’d like that, Garrett, former stray cat-pig-wolf Shifter whose name is not Doyle. I’d like it very much.”

  My gaze met his, and the teasing light in his eyes quickly flared into something entirely different. I raised my face and his lips closed over mine. I knew in that moment I’d found my place. A place that had nothing to do with titles, geography, or directions. Thank Goddess. Sometimes the Fates get it right. Sometimes the strongest and best magic in the world doesn’t require any magic at all.

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  Sharon Saracino, an award winning author of paranormal romance, was born and raised in beautiful Northeastern Pennsylvania. She plans to win the lottery just as soon as she remembers to buy a ticket, fantasizes about moving to Italy, brews limoncello, and believes there's always magic to be found if you take the time to look for it!

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